


Upgrades

by EldritchSandwich



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Banter, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Sandwich, Gen, Other, Robot/Human Relationships, Sex Toys, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21665245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EldritchSandwich/pseuds/EldritchSandwich
Summary: FL4K approaches Amara for advice about an important purchase.
Relationships: Amara/Moze (Borderlands), FL4K/Ellie (Borderlands)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Upgrades

"AMARA. MAY I ASK YOU FOR A FAVOR?"

Amara spun on her heel to find FL4K suddenly and unexpectedly behind her. She tried not to scowl; two things she particularly disliked were being snuck up on and being shorter than someone, both of which FL4K tended to inflict on her without really meaning to. She cleared her throat. "Of course, FL4K. What is it?"

"I'VE OBSERVED THAT WHEN YOU AND MOZE RUT, YOU SOMETIMES USE AN ARTIFICIAL GENITAL ATTACHMENT..."

"Wait!" Amara hissed, eyes darting around Sanctuary's common room. "Are you telling me you watch when we—"

"IT'S DIFFICULT NOT TO," FL4K explained. "YOU OFTEN DO SO VERY CLOSE TO OUR SHARED CAMPSITES FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME."

"Yeah, and that girl's a screamer," Zane shouted from the background as he headed in the direction of Moxxi's.

Amara pursed her lips, trying not to blush.

"BUT ANYWAY BACK TO MY QUESTION ABOUT YOUR GENITAL ATTACHMENT. I WOULD LIKE YOUR ASSISTANCE IN PROCURING ONE."

Amara blinked. "I'm sorry, what?"

"THANKS TO VARIOUS INSTANCES OF FLIRTATIOUS BANTER, I HAVE DETERMINED THAT ELLIE ENJOYS BEING GENITALLY PENETRATED. SO IS THERE AN ECHO SITE I SHOULD VISIT OR..."

"You want me...to help you buy a strap-on. To use on Ellie."

"YES. PLEASE?"

Amara shook her head. "What the hell. It's not like it's the weirdest thing I've ever been asked to help a robot do." She pulled out her ECHO comm and keyed in an address, then turned the screen around to face them. "There. All the colors of the rainbow."

FL4K leaned forward, eye narrowing intently as they absorbed the information in front of them. "THERE ARE SO MANY CHOICES. I LIKE THE ONES WITH REALISTIC ANIMAL SHAPES AND TEXTURES."

Amara rolled her eyes. "Yes, you would."

"DOES IT NEED THE ABILITY TO VIBRATE? I KNOW THE SIZE OF THE AVERAGE HUMAN PENIS, BUT ELLIE IS QUITE LARGE FOR A HUMAN. DO YOU KNOW IF HER GENITALIA ARE SIMILARLY INCREASED IN SCALE?"

Amara winced. "I don't have the slightest idea."

"BEFORE I COMMIT TO A PURCHASE, SHOULD I ASK HER ABOUT THE INTERIOR VOLUME OF HER—"

"Oh gods! Absolutely not! Here." She pulled up another page. "This is the one I use. Just...buy it and give me back my comm."

FL4K tilted their head to regard the thick plastic appendage rotating on the small holographic screen. "IF IT'S THE SAME MODEL, WOULD IT NOT BE MORE EFFICIENT JUST TO SHARE THE ONE YOU—"

Amara snatched her ECHO comm out of their hands with a scowl. "Finish that sentence and I'll kill you."

* * *

Theoretically, the advent of digistruct technology meant that any purchase made by anyone anywhere could be delivered instantly, allowing them to immediately get on with their day. In practice, however, market research clearly showed that people missed the old-fashioned six-to-eight-week delay and its value as a builder of anticipation and value. Naturally, instead of offering a choice between the two, sellers had solved this problem by making each ECHOnet purchase take a randomly-generated amount of time between the two to arrive.

All of which means that anywhere from immediately to six-to-eight weeks later Amara and Moze stood in Sanctuary's common area, outside the door to FL4K's quarters, eyes wide. The door had been sealed shut, but that seemed to be doing nothing to muffle the squealing bedsprings, creaking table legs, and guttural moans and euphemistic-yet-overly-specific words of encouragement coming from inside.

"Oh yeah, that's right, kickstart that backup motor! Shift that stick into high gear! Swap out those spark plugs!"

FL4K's pets were sitting around the outside of the door, sulking. They did not appear to appreciate this turn of events nearly as much as Ellie apparently did.

Moze turned to Amara with her eyebrows raised. "And I thought I was loud..."

"You are," Zane shouted from the background as he came back from Moxxi's.


End file.
